Maybe she'd be more open to it, if you referred to it as "snogging".
 

I was thinking more along the lines of MOWMing (making-out-with-mom-ing).

Either way, I'm off to the gym because I can't get anyone to "work out" with me.
 

I'm sure there are plenty of dudes at the gym that would be happy to "work out" with you. Just do a few laps around the locker room in your towel and wink at guys who look like they might be into "working out" with you.
 

I took your advice and got two towel snaps, three groin kicks and ten one-minute kisses.

260 calories. BOOYAH!

How come I don't have a kick ass facial hair arrangement like dope/jeremy/zeropoint/you?
 

"How come I don't have a kick ass facial hair arrangement like dope/jeremy/zeropoint/you?"

I'm sad to say it's because your mom doesn't love you enough to make out with you.
 

Every single comment above me is extremely disturbing/hilarious.

- Mike