The 'wack Off
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Astronuts!
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/t...-name_page.html
MAN ON MOON: WE SAW A UFO
Astronauts' close encounter
By Mike Swain
The first men to walk on the Moon reported seeing a UFO, a new TV documentary reveals. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the Moon's surface after Neil Armstrong, says space agency bosses covered up their sighting. And the Apollo 11 astronauts were also careful not to talk about it openly.
He said: "There was something out there, close enough to be observed, and what could it be?
"Now, obviously the three of us weren't going to blurt out, 'Hey, Houston, we've got something moving alongside of us and we don't know what it is, you know?
"Can you tell us what it is?'
"We weren't about to do that, because we knew that that those transmissions would be heard by all sorts of people and somebody might have demanded we turn back because of aliens or whatever the reason is."
The documentary, tonight on Five, also reveals that the astronauts had to repair the lunar module with a ballpoint pen after the historic landing in July 1969.In the cramped conditions, someone's bulky spacesuit had snapped off a circuit breaker essential for starting up the engine.To this day, Aldrin treasures the everyday object that saved their lives.
He said: "I used a pen, one of several that we had on board that didn't have metal on the end, and we used that to push the circuit breaker in."The programme also draws on classified documents made public for the first time.
This link (which I found on some random message board) could be total horseshit. I'm no authority on English newspapers and for all I know the Daily Record might be as reputable as the Weekly World News. Still, either the paper's full of shit or the astronauts are...
¶ 8:25 AM 0 comments
MAN ON MOON: WE SAW A UFO
Astronauts' close encounter
By Mike Swain
The first men to walk on the Moon reported seeing a UFO, a new TV documentary reveals. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the Moon's surface after Neil Armstrong, says space agency bosses covered up their sighting. And the Apollo 11 astronauts were also careful not to talk about it openly.
He said: "There was something out there, close enough to be observed, and what could it be?
"Now, obviously the three of us weren't going to blurt out, 'Hey, Houston, we've got something moving alongside of us and we don't know what it is, you know?
"Can you tell us what it is?'
"We weren't about to do that, because we knew that that those transmissions would be heard by all sorts of people and somebody might have demanded we turn back because of aliens or whatever the reason is."
The documentary, tonight on Five, also reveals that the astronauts had to repair the lunar module with a ballpoint pen after the historic landing in July 1969.In the cramped conditions, someone's bulky spacesuit had snapped off a circuit breaker essential for starting up the engine.To this day, Aldrin treasures the everyday object that saved their lives.
He said: "I used a pen, one of several that we had on board that didn't have metal on the end, and we used that to push the circuit breaker in."The programme also draws on classified documents made public for the first time.
This link (which I found on some random message board) could be total horseshit. I'm no authority on English newspapers and for all I know the Daily Record might be as reputable as the Weekly World News. Still, either the paper's full of shit or the astronauts are...
¶ 8:25 AM 0 comments
Thursday, July 20, 2006
The Mark of a Moron
http://419eater.com/index.htm
For those of you who don't frequent TGF (bag head), check out this highly addictive site.
It's basically the typed correspondences of internet scammers (Nigerian Kings...all that crap) and the people who try to run them around in circles (if only to give them a bit o' bad medicine). I found the one called The Mark of a Moron (in the Archives) to be captivating.
And the rest of them are pretty damn decent as well.
It's great to see so many of these people will tattoo themselves at the drop of a hat. I almost want a "Baited by Shiver" tattoo myself!
BONUS: Head to the trophy room. Point. Giggle. ¶ 9:30 PM 2 comments
For those of you who don't frequent TGF (bag head), check out this highly addictive site.
It's basically the typed correspondences of internet scammers (Nigerian Kings...all that crap) and the people who try to run them around in circles (if only to give them a bit o' bad medicine). I found the one called The Mark of a Moron (in the Archives) to be captivating.
And the rest of them are pretty damn decent as well.
It's great to see so many of these people will tattoo themselves at the drop of a hat. I almost want a "Baited by Shiver" tattoo myself!
BONUS: Head to the trophy room. Point. Giggle. ¶ 9:30 PM 2 comments
Friday, July 14, 2006
Crystal Ball'd
It seems that once every four or five months I make a post promising not to neglect my blog anymore and pulling excuses out of my ass like I ate a big loaf of "because of.." bread for lunch. It's weird because a new entry takes, what, five minutes to type (none of my entries are that complicated)? And it's not like I don't think a thousand thoughts a minute... I really don't have any good excuse for NOT updating my blog more frequently except that I tend to forget it exists and that it gets lost in the shuffle between email, a handful of message boards and slices of"because of" bread.
I just wonder what kind of parent I'm going to be (not that anybody I know is pregnant with my seed or anything)...
SCENE: In my house. My blog has entered it's teenage years (and seems to have taken on the traits of a girl...for some reason)
My blog (age 14): Dad?
Me: What?
My blog: Can you take me to the mall?
Me: What? (mutes television) What did you say?
My blog: Can you take me?
Me: Where?
My blog: The mall! Don't you even listen?
Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you!
My blog: Well, can you take me to the mall?
Me: When?
My blog: Now?
Me: Now? Can it wait an hour?
My blog: An HOUR? All of my other friends are going to be there! Angry Chad is already at the mall!
Me: Angry who?
My blog: God, you've met him a thousand times! The guy with the neck...
Me: Oh yeah, the neck guy. Can it wait an hour?
My blog: A whole hour??? By that time they'll be ready to leave!
Me: (roll eyes) Alright...Alright! Five minutes?
My blog: Is the car unlocked?
Me: I don't know.
My blog: Can I have the keys? I'm going to wait in the car.
Me: They're on the counter.
My blog: (in the kitchen) They're not on the counter!
Me: Check by the fridge!
My blog: I AM! They're not by the fridge!
Me: Are you sure?
My blog: I don't see them...
Me: (frustrated...marching into kitchen) They were here a minute ago...
My blog: Oh and can I borrow 20 bucks?
Me: 20 bucks? What about your allowance?
My blog: I spent it at the movies, remember? I told you I did. God, you don't even LISTEN to me!
Me: I'm sorry. I FORGOT!
My blog: It's like you don't even care!
Me: If I didn't care would I be driving you to the mall? Where the HELL are my keys?
(I search my pockets and the keys are in the right. In the other room, on television, a touchdown has been scored. The announcer is freaking out like he's on fire)
Me: Oh great...they scored. Damn Gint's...
My blog: Oh my god. You can hear the TV from the other room, but you can barely pay attention to me when you're standing right in front of me.
Me: Oh, that's not true.
My blog: It SO is..
Me: I'm sorry if I was WATCHING something...I didn't realize I was going to be making a trip to the mall today.
My blog: Can I have 20 bucks?
Me: I thought it was borrow...
My blog: (whiny) Daaaddd...
Me: Here are the keys. Wait in the car.
My blog: So can I have the 20 bucks?
Me: YES! Just wait in the car...
(Five minutes later after the Giants are forced to punt)
Me: (turns off crap pop to the Giant game on the car radio) So how long are you going to be?
My blog: I don't know, just drop me off.
Me: Fine. But what time am I picking you up?
My blog: I don't know. I'll call...
Me: Because I'm not waiting up all night...
My blog: You would if the Giants were on!
Me: Well, the Giants are on NOW and I'm missing it to drive you to the mall!
My blog: You're not missing it! It's on the stupid radio right now!
Me: That's not the same.
My blog: Whatever...
Me: So what time?
My blog: I don't know. Maybe I'll just get Chad's parents to drive me home.
Me: Well, whatever, but let me know. Deal?
My blog: Okaaay...
(we pull up to the mall. I'm pissed because the Giants allowed another TD during the car ride)
My blog: There's Chad. (points to weird long necked guy)
Me: Who's that with him?
My blog: Oh, that's AB.
Me: Why's he wearing a bag on his head?
My blog: I don't know. He's cold?
Me: And what about the guy without a helmet?
My blog: That's seppo and he ALWAYS wears a helmet.
Me: He's not wearing one right now.
My blog: Can I borrow the twenty bucks or not?
Me: (hands over 20 bucks)
My blog: Thanks...bye.
Me: Call me! I don't want to stay up all night!
(My blog joins it's friends at the entrance to the mall. I drive back to catch the rest of the game)
Me: What a neck on that guy...
END SCENE ¶ 11:32 AM 17 comments
I just wonder what kind of parent I'm going to be (not that anybody I know is pregnant with my seed or anything)...
SCENE: In my house. My blog has entered it's teenage years (and seems to have taken on the traits of a girl...for some reason)
My blog (age 14): Dad?
Me: What?
My blog: Can you take me to the mall?
Me: What? (mutes television) What did you say?
My blog: Can you take me?
Me: Where?
My blog: The mall! Don't you even listen?
Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you!
My blog: Well, can you take me to the mall?
Me: When?
My blog: Now?
Me: Now? Can it wait an hour?
My blog: An HOUR? All of my other friends are going to be there! Angry Chad is already at the mall!
Me: Angry who?
My blog: God, you've met him a thousand times! The guy with the neck...
Me: Oh yeah, the neck guy. Can it wait an hour?
My blog: A whole hour??? By that time they'll be ready to leave!
Me: (roll eyes) Alright...Alright! Five minutes?
My blog: Is the car unlocked?
Me: I don't know.
My blog: Can I have the keys? I'm going to wait in the car.
Me: They're on the counter.
My blog: (in the kitchen) They're not on the counter!
Me: Check by the fridge!
My blog: I AM! They're not by the fridge!
Me: Are you sure?
My blog: I don't see them...
Me: (frustrated...marching into kitchen) They were here a minute ago...
My blog: Oh and can I borrow 20 bucks?
Me: 20 bucks? What about your allowance?
My blog: I spent it at the movies, remember? I told you I did. God, you don't even LISTEN to me!
Me: I'm sorry. I FORGOT!
My blog: It's like you don't even care!
Me: If I didn't care would I be driving you to the mall? Where the HELL are my keys?
(I search my pockets and the keys are in the right. In the other room, on television, a touchdown has been scored. The announcer is freaking out like he's on fire)
Me: Oh great...they scored. Damn Gint's...
My blog: Oh my god. You can hear the TV from the other room, but you can barely pay attention to me when you're standing right in front of me.
Me: Oh, that's not true.
My blog: It SO is..
Me: I'm sorry if I was WATCHING something...I didn't realize I was going to be making a trip to the mall today.
My blog: Can I have 20 bucks?
Me: I thought it was borrow...
My blog: (whiny) Daaaddd...
Me: Here are the keys. Wait in the car.
My blog: So can I have the 20 bucks?
Me: YES! Just wait in the car...
(Five minutes later after the Giants are forced to punt)
Me: (turns off crap pop to the Giant game on the car radio) So how long are you going to be?
My blog: I don't know, just drop me off.
Me: Fine. But what time am I picking you up?
My blog: I don't know. I'll call...
Me: Because I'm not waiting up all night...
My blog: You would if the Giants were on!
Me: Well, the Giants are on NOW and I'm missing it to drive you to the mall!
My blog: You're not missing it! It's on the stupid radio right now!
Me: That's not the same.
My blog: Whatever...
Me: So what time?
My blog: I don't know. Maybe I'll just get Chad's parents to drive me home.
Me: Well, whatever, but let me know. Deal?
My blog: Okaaay...
(we pull up to the mall. I'm pissed because the Giants allowed another TD during the car ride)
My blog: There's Chad. (points to weird long necked guy)
Me: Who's that with him?
My blog: Oh, that's AB.
Me: Why's he wearing a bag on his head?
My blog: I don't know. He's cold?
Me: And what about the guy without a helmet?
My blog: That's seppo and he ALWAYS wears a helmet.
Me: He's not wearing one right now.
My blog: Can I borrow the twenty bucks or not?
Me: (hands over 20 bucks)
My blog: Thanks...bye.
Me: Call me! I don't want to stay up all night!
(My blog joins it's friends at the entrance to the mall. I drive back to catch the rest of the game)
Me: What a neck on that guy...
END SCENE ¶ 11:32 AM 17 comments
