Kristen doesn't have cancer She just got back from the place where you go to find out if you have cancer and, good news, she doesn't. She does have a toothache however, but it's Thursday so I would've assumed she would anyway. Her mouth is only pain free between 1:45am-3:36am on Sundays. I have no teeth problems. I am god. But she doesn't have cancer and that's a bonus in this god's life.

Although, since she'll probably blow my spot and comment on it(the tooth reference would be enough for her), I did wake up from my wisdom tooth removal yelling and crying. I was hysterical. I had never gone under before and I never want to again. Two cops just happened to be in the dentists office during my breakdown and in my delirium I asked them if they were "there for me" and of course the one cop was like "should we be?" I've only cried a few times in the last couple of years and two of them were on account of "Life As A House". If I ever need a leg amputated I'm going to stick a towel in my mouth and bite down.

I smell like sweat. It's dried up all over me. I have to work at 3 and I should probably shower before then. But I hate showering on even days and I hate brushing my teeth on the odd ones. Plus, I must be the only one I know who loves the wicked aftertaste of the Diet Lemon Snapple.

Until next time, don't get cancer!  ¶ 11:02 AM