Monday, July 18, 2005
The bad...(NYC last Thursday)
I forgot how bad the city can smell when the heat hits the stinky millions. If I had known how bad it was going to smell I would've brought my little spray bottle of "Fatty Man's Ball Sweat" to sweeten things up. Midtown just reeked.
The village smelled okay, but just looks so much dirtier than I remember it. Maybe as a paint splattered college student the grunge of it seemed cool. Maybe as an art school student I was obligated to worship the village, but god if I didn't hate it on Thursday. We were starving upon arrival and circled around a few blocks looking for a bite to eat. We passed a French Cafe (FREEDOM CAFE!), an organic Burrito place and a couple of other restaurants that just didn't appeal to us. It's weird because some of my fondest city memories involved tripping over a cute little eatery and making it ours for an hour. On Thursday I couldn't have been happier to see the UNO Pizzaria and Grill sign. I just wanted to EAT! I didn't feel like playing Christopher Colombus and discovering some new food. I wasn't in the mood. That being said, I'm glad they had really nice restrooms because I went twice while we were there and ran back five minutes after we left to finish the job. I guess my body only accepts Applebees.
I guess the most annoying thing were all of the people. As someone who used to go to the city every weekday I trained myself to walk with my head facing the ground, but having been out of the loop for so long couldn't help but look up. If I had a dime for every pretentious trendwhore that I passed while in the village I'd have 19.70. I counted. And that label isn't just reserved for the ladies. The men are just as bad. I stuck a qtip in my ear pretty deep and now my body is programmed to karate chop anyone who walks by me in an oversized trucker hat. *CHOP* That's better. ¶ 10:47 AM
The village smelled okay, but just looks so much dirtier than I remember it. Maybe as a paint splattered college student the grunge of it seemed cool. Maybe as an art school student I was obligated to worship the village, but god if I didn't hate it on Thursday. We were starving upon arrival and circled around a few blocks looking for a bite to eat. We passed a French Cafe (FREEDOM CAFE!), an organic Burrito place and a couple of other restaurants that just didn't appeal to us. It's weird because some of my fondest city memories involved tripping over a cute little eatery and making it ours for an hour. On Thursday I couldn't have been happier to see the UNO Pizzaria and Grill sign. I just wanted to EAT! I didn't feel like playing Christopher Colombus and discovering some new food. I wasn't in the mood. That being said, I'm glad they had really nice restrooms because I went twice while we were there and ran back five minutes after we left to finish the job. I guess my body only accepts Applebees.
I guess the most annoying thing were all of the people. As someone who used to go to the city every weekday I trained myself to walk with my head facing the ground, but having been out of the loop for so long couldn't help but look up. If I had a dime for every pretentious trendwhore that I passed while in the village I'd have 19.70. I counted. And that label isn't just reserved for the ladies. The men are just as bad. I stuck a qtip in my ear pretty deep and now my body is programmed to karate chop anyone who walks by me in an oversized trucker hat. *CHOP* That's better. ¶ 10:47 AM
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I never forget how bad it smells. There's a trash spot on the sidewalk near my building, which I walk by all the time, that never stops smelling. Winter or summer, it's the worst smelling place in the city.
As for the "pretentious trendwhore[s]", borrowing a phrase from Seinfeld, I prefer, "hipster doofus." Everytime I see one of those folks, I tell my wife, "check out the hipster doofus" and laugh. I think it really nails the whole look down.
If you really want to go bonkers, head down to the LES. It's worse than the Village.
As for the "pretentious trendwhore[s]", borrowing a phrase from Seinfeld, I prefer, "hipster doofus." Everytime I see one of those folks, I tell my wife, "check out the hipster doofus" and laugh. I think it really nails the whole look down.
If you really want to go bonkers, head down to the LES. It's worse than the Village.
That's funny, I would think you'd have more difficulty with the noises in the city, what with your ears and all.
Maybe N.Y. is the place for me. My sense of smell is nearly non-existant. Steph will occasionally turn to me and ask "What's that smell? Do you smell that?" and all I can do is shrug and shake my head "nope".
Maybe N.Y. is the place for me. My sense of smell is nearly non-existant. Steph will occasionally turn to me and ask "What's that smell? Do you smell that?" and all I can do is shrug and shake my head "nope".
You can't smell your own?
For having such large ears, I'm actually quite deaf. I listen to the TV on a +30 volume at all times.
For having such large ears, I'm actually quite deaf. I listen to the TV on a +30 volume at all times.
This is off topic, but regarding your post "No more hamburgers for Wimpy" you might want to check your posts in the Edit Posts section and see if any of them are highlighted green. I think you may have saved that one as a draft, instead of publishing it, because it doesn't appear on the main page for me. Luckily, there's some sort of bug which puts it into the RSS stream, so I was able to see it from Bloglines.
Yeah, intentionally. I reread it after I wrote it and it seemed mighty boring.
You can PM me the text though if you have it...seeing how one person's already read it, I might as well let some others.
You can PM me the text though if you have it...seeing how one person's already read it, I might as well let some others.
"This is off topic ..."
Is that really necessary?
I mean, I know the Off Topic Police are bad and all, but I don't think they've found this blog yet.
Is that really necessary?
I mean, I know the Off Topic Police are bad and all, but I don't think they've found this blog yet.
They'll stumble across it soon enough. Quick, hide in the closet!
* OT Police kick in door*
NYC IS BAD!! WAIT! I'm on topic! I'm on topic! Stay on target!
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* OT Police kick in door*
NYC IS BAD!! WAIT! I'm on topic! I'm on topic! Stay on target!
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